Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what you’re doing to take care of you? Life can be hectic; it’s easy to get caught up in caring for everyone around you without paying any mind to your own needs. But, you cannot afford for your personal well-being to play second fiddle. California State University Northridge defines self love as “taking responsibility for yourself to maintain a healthy and balanced lifestyle at work and in your personal world through individually determined, proactive activities.” To learn more about self-care, check out this live video to hear our clinic owner, Tamara Willingham’s perspective.

In case you’ve forgotten: You are wonderful! You are deserving of care from others and yourself. In this guide to creating a self love plan, we hope you find motivation and inspiration to set out on your journey with an open mind and an open heart. You are worthy of self love, and we’re going to help you find it!

Learn, Understand, and Accept the Importance of Self Love

A common misconception about self care is that it makes you selfish. Practicing self love does not mean you are choosing yourself over a loved one. In fact, in order for you to show up mentally, emotionally, and even physically for an important person in your life, you have to make sure you’re filling your cup. This concept encourages doing things that make you feel full and content, enabling you to “pour” yourself into others. So, whether you’ve got a pint glass, mug, or mason jar, make sure you take time to fill it with things that make you feel good.

Identify Which Parts of Yourself Need Special Attention

Self care applies to all facets of your life, which can feel like a lot to keep up with sometimes. Inevitably, certain areas get overlooked—that’s life! Whether you’ve settled into a sedentary cycle or you’ve misplaced your sense of gratitude in the 24-hour news cycle, remember all is not lost. Just like Traditional Chinese Medicine teaches us, the best way to promote the body’s natural healing is by identifying the root of the problem, not just the branches. Familiarizing yourself with our five self love silos can help connect the parts of your life needing special attention to what acts of self care you can practice to show them love.

The 5 Self Love Silos

  • Physical: Exercise, sleep, eat healthy, stay hydrated and of course – maintain a regular regimen of acupuncture & herbs, as well as massage
  • Mental: Work on your mindset – you either can or you can’t. You have the power to choose. Practice gratitude every day and feed your mind – you can start by turning off the news, which tends to propagate negativity, and reading an inspiring book instead. Approaching others in a spirit of cooperation uplifts our mindset as well: the better I am, the better you are, and vice-versa.
  • Emotional: Practice self-acceptance. Loving yourself opens the door to loving and understanding others. Refrain from acting on anger, fear or frustration. Listen to your emotions instead – what are they teaching you? Is there something you need to heal? Take responsibility for your feelings and heal what needs to be healed.
  • Spirit: Maintain a spiritual routine that feeds your soul and cultivates inner peace.
  • Financial: Cultivate self-responsibility with regard to your finances by budgeting and setting appropriate boundaries in order to create a healthy, balanced relationship with money.

Stability is the key to wellness. It starts with perspective and that can change everything – for better or for worse. Which perspective will you choose? Working on your self-care silos each day increases your stability and unlocks the path to wellness.

Make A Plan to Make Your Own Day

They say instead of waiting for someone to bring your flowers, plant your own garden. The same applies to self love. Dr. Margaret Paul even suggests that if your relationship is failing, it’s likely because you’ve abandoned yourself. “When you abandon yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, relationally and/or organizationally, you automatically make your partner responsible for you. Once you make another person responsible for your feelings of self-worth and well being, then you attempt to manipulate that person into loving you, approving of you and giving you what you want.”

Take responsibility for your well-being and make your own day by taking some “me” time to recharge and re-center. Maybe you schedule your first acupuncture appointment, or even take a mid-day walk—either way, setting your plan in motion is the most important part. But keep in mind, making a self love plan isn’t designed to put more pressure on you. “Be realistic with yourself by remembering that it takes time for a new practice to become a routine,” says Mindful. “There will be moments when you falter and that’s okay. We’re all human. Don’t punish yourself, but instead refocus and recommit to your plan.” 

Be Good to Yourself

The bottom line for any self-care routine is simply: be good to yourself. The Golden Rule states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But are you doing unto yourself as you would have others do unto you? Self care means showing yourself the love and respect you show others—the love and respect you deserve. But some days will be more difficult than others, and sorting through your needs and emotions may be too strenuous—that’s okay. Our fearless leader, Tamara, puts it best when she says “The more patient and kind you are to yourself, the better your relationships – and your life – will be. We are all connected to each other and to nature, so when I am better, you are better. When you are better, I am better.”

Here at Tamara TCM, we know the importance of establishing a self care plan and want to see you flourish on your journey. For some inspiration on how to fill your cup with a splash of goodness every day, check out our Simple Self Care Checklist:

  • Do a physical activity each day that you enjoy, whether it’s walking, jogging, riding a bike, or dancing in the streets! Here are some more ideas for you:
    • Yoga
    • Tai Qi/Tai Chi
    • Pilates
    • Kickboxing
  • Eat fresh, clean foods as much as possible
  • Come up with a list of things you’re grateful for every day
  • Call or send a text to someone you love – or even better, send them a card to
    bring a special, unexpected smile to their faces
  • Pause every now and then throughout your day & take a deep breath
  • Take a break when you can to relax and re-center
  • Read an inspiring book
  • Take a nice shower or luxurious bath
  • Light a candle – a non-toxic, chemical-free one, of course
  • Tend to your financial health by making a budget and only spending within your
  • If you find yourself worrying, send blessings to the situation and let it go
  • Instead of blaming others, look inside yourself to see what needs to be healed
  • Challenge yourself to go a whole day without criticism
  • Get a massage
  • Keep getting your acupuncture & taking your herbs!

We’re Here to Help Through Your Journey

Our mission here at Tamara TCM is to provide high-quality natural medicine with integrity that is safe and effective. Our patients have found inner peace and love through many of our services including herbal medicine, holistic microneedling, and energy work. We are committed to serving our community with compassionate care and providing education to empower and inspire people to reach their greatest potential.

Don’t hesitate to include us in your self love journey! We are here to help. Call us today or book an appointment now.